This week explore the world of teaching with a student sample exercise. For their autobiography papers, I have students practice a little creative writing exercises. Part of that is practicing dialogue. Their assignment? Write a short story using only dialogue. I encourage them to use conflict of some kind.
Most of the time my students come up with short stories about characters arguing over who's turn it is to do dinner or what movie they should go to, but this time... this time a student made ME a character. And it was absolutely hilarious.
So, with his permission, I'm going to share that story with you today. Enjoy!
"A 500 word essay on nothing but dialogue! How am I supposed to do that?"
"Yes, Isaiah. What’s so hard about that?"
"But why would you assign us such work, Mrs. Meenan?"
"We've been over this a thousand times, Isaiah. You’re the student and I'm the teacher, so you do whatever work I assign for you."
"Okay lady, do you know who I am? I am a very important man in the country that I come from. Actually, I am the next in line for the throne, behind 37 of my brothers, but that's beside the point. The point is, I should be able to kick back in my seat and get the best possible grade a person of my position deserves."
"Ooo, look here, Mr. Big Shot Fancy Pants comes from the middle of Nobody Cares! I have no idea why you would join the space math program just to get a passing grade, but you better open your eyes and see that I'm no pushover. I was the first UFC women’s champion of the featherweight division, so if I need to, I could kick your little rear end back to the No Good Stinking Desert you came from so fast you'll need to button your girly skinny jeans at the knees!"
"Look, I don't want to cause trouble, but if need be, then I will get my father down here to Riverside to set you straight and trust me when I say that you won’t like the punishment you get for messing with my family. I suggest you take you kickboxing self back to your desk and put a passing grade into that computer of yours and I'll be on my way."
"Do you even come to this school? I checked your records and it shows no trace of a Prince Isaiah ever even enrolling to CBU."
"Are you not listening to the words coming out of my mouth? I come from the wealthiest family the world has ever known. College acceptance means nothing to me. My mother always said it is better to accept yourself than to have a school’s acceptance."
"So what you're telling me is, you are not even a student here at CBU, but just some guy who walked in off the street and is now trying to do my job and get a free grade? Let me tell you a little something about education. A quality education is earned by hard work, studying, sleepless nights, and ramen noodles. So before you want to walk in here like you own the place think about this; are you ready to give up most of your social life and spend thousands of dollars just to get a job that will pay back your student loans on hopefully ten years?"
"I need to tell you something Mrs. Meenan."
"What is it, Isaiah?"
"You're on a prank show called Prank the Professor! You should have seen the look on your face!"
"Mr. Leyva, now this is a 500 word essay worth 100 points."